Day 18 - Should You Die First - by Annabelle Despard

Funny how differently people handle death.  Some discard everything the person owns, like getting rid of everything will help ease the remembering of them.  Others keep everything exactly as it was the moment they heard of the death, years blanketing the room and artifacts with insulating cobwebs. I remember watching a movie where a Mom who lost her son never washed his clothes, and when someone inadvertently did so, she completely had a melt down.  She had lost his smells, the last lingering fragrance of his essence that remained on earth.

I sometimes wonder where poets get their inspiration.  Did Annabelle Despard (1943 - ) watch this same movie?  Did she experience some deep traumatic loss of a loved one? Or was she writing this for someone who was dying?

Here is my spoken version of this poem:
https://soundcloud.com/raindrop-11/shouldyoudiefirst

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Should You Die First - by Annabelle Despard

Let me at least collect your smells
as specimens: your armpits, woollen
sweater,
fingers yellow from smoke. I’d need
to take an imprint of your foot
and make recordings of your laugh.
These archives I shall carry into exile;
my body a St Helena where ships no
longer dock,
a rock in the ocean, an outpost where the
wind howls
and polar bears beat down the door.

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